Death by Association

It was in the news that Saks Fifth Avenue will be dropping Posh Spice's DVB denim range. Hahaha... to think that it was actually newsworthy.

It is common for companies to sign up celebrities to promote their products. The coolest campaign I remember is one which has got so many famous sportspeople in just one advertisement. Not the pepsi one, but it is set in the dark and everyone was kicking a football. Please refresh my memory if you know what I am talking about.

How many of us are naive enough to buy a product simply because it is endorsed by a certain celebrity. Plus some of the pairings are really odd. I think Amber Chia has probably endorsed a full range of household items. Rice - check, massage chair - check, butt firming salons - check, and the list goes on (some of you may wonder why not lip collagen). Oh not to forget the space tourist aka angkasawan (in Malaysia), I remember seeing a poster of him on the highway back to KL from JB. He must have endorsed something weird too.

Not just that, but do you really think that these celebrities use the products. I am sure Revlon is an ok product but surely Cindy Crawford had a whole range of upper market face paints arriving by the truckload as gifts for her to use. Hmmnnn... SK II is probably more believable but you get my point.

So as I was saying, do you actually buy a product simply because a company has spent millions of dollars to sign on the celebrity who then pretends to use the product? Marketing cost is of course then passed down to us poor consumers, which is probably the reason why SK II is so bloody expensive. They have geography-specific celebrities promoting their product! Sammi Cheng for the North Asia, Angelica Lee for Chinese in Malaysia - HK market etc.

I know for a fact that I would boycott a product if it is associated with certain celebrity. It is the same mentality as I would not bother to vote for a song to be on the Top 10 chart, but I wish I could vote for a song NOT to be on the chart. (Makarena, Chicken song etc). For instance I would never buy perfume made by any actress or actors no matter how famous they are. They are blatantly cashing in on their status and further exploiting their poor fans. My Sig.Ot refused to use the Gillette shaver which was endorsed by David Beckham. So who gives a hoot about DVB denim?

Reinvention of a Grocery Shopping List

Every Monday, I write down a list of my grocery requirements. It is beginning to get a little bit boring and even then I still manage to miss out some ingredients. Therefore I am going to start a system. I am going to create ingredients flashcards and file them.

Once I have that in place, instead of having to write down every single item on the shopping list, I need to only plan my weekly menu such as:-

Monday - Stewed Bittergourd with pork ribs in black bean sauce, stir fry kailan, steamed egg with mince
Tuesday - Roast chicken, mash potato, salad
Wednesday - Pad kaprow, Stir fry broccoli / cauliflower etc.
Thursday - Grilled salmon, creamed spinach, roast potatos

Then, my maid just need to look up my flashcards and then make up her shopping list. This is what we call process re-engineering!

Hope

This morning on the way into town, there was a truck of men heading in the same direction from the East. It is common sight to see a group of immigrant labourers on their way to work at the back of a truck. Of course this is not a very safe mode of transport but such is life.

So you must be wondering why did this group of men stand out from the rest? For one, they were all dressed in suit jackets and they had suitcases with them at the back of the truck. Most importantly, all of them looked so fresh faced, so full of hopes.

They must have all just arrived this morning and were picked up from the airport by their prospective agents / employers. I cannot help but feel so touched by the journey they have just made. When they left their homes and families, they must have felt so excited about what laid ahead. Going to a foreign land, the much talked about and sophiscated Singapore.

Dressed in their Sunday best, they made the journey to the airport, a journey which may have been 10s of hours away from their homes. For some, it may have even been their first flight. Their families must have been both sad and proud of these men. Going to make money and better their lives.

(Will take a photo next time I see another one so that you could relate better to what I am describing)

Social Branches

I am a self professed anti-social. I am probably more sociable than Sig.Ot but compared to most of my friends, I am so much more fussy when it comes to meeting people. Friends I keep in touch with are friends whom I treasure so dearly.

First of all I do not or rarely do threesomes. This means I would rather be hit with a spade at the back of my head than attend any GROUP gatherings. I loathe reunion dinners / gatherings etc. In my opinion most people attend reunion dinners merely to gossip and their inquisitiveness has nothing to do with genuine concerns as they are mere busybodies.

I like one to one interaction with my friends. As a result, during the past 12 years I have formed social branches rather than social circle. My friends do not meet each other. The only times they have come together were for my KL farewell party, hen's night and wedding.

One very odd co-incidence is that over the past 12 years, I have met 3 very good friends who do not know each other but share the same birthday i.e. 12th August! They are also of very different ages, 30 -32 -44, and races, Malay - Chinese - Caucasion. Most importantly, they are very wonderful friends, just like all of you are.

Eddie at 8 months

Self Tagged

I am volunteering to do this. All my answers to the following questions are to begin with "P" for poe.

What is your name? Poe
A four letter word: Piss (-off)
A boy’s name : Penfold
A girl’s name : Petulia
An occupation : Pirate
A color : Purple
Something you wear : Pants
A type of food : Pizza
Something found in the bathroom : Pantene (conditioner, not that great)
A place : Paris
A reason for being late : Poo-ed (eddie)
Something you shout : Pukimak!!!
A movie title : Pulp Fiction /Pontianak Sundal Malam
Something you drink : Pina colada
A musical group : Pink Floyd
A street name : Penarth Road
A type of car : Porsche
A song title : Purple Rain
A verb : Piss

Food is love

Growing up in a conservative Chinese family, physical affection is unheard of. I used to marvel at my Muslim friends kissing their parents, thinking how westernise and cool it was. Well, I have never hugged my parents what's more to kiss!

It is not that we don't love each other. My parents, my brothers and I love each other, we just go about showing it very differently. When it comes to my father, since long ago I noticed that his way of showing his love towards us was his cooking. By the way, my father is a FABULOUS cook!!! Since we were kids, he would make us very expensive Chinese goodies soup such as abalone, dried scallops etc. Even my mom did not get to eat them! And of course my dad never eats it either.

Or how he would wake up at 3am to make agar-agar (jelly) so that it will set in time for us to take the school. Why not the night before? Overnight food is considered unfresh and taboo in my family. And right next to the jelly compartment would be special fried rice. One time he made us burgers to take to school. In order to prevent the bun from going soggy, he packed ketchup separately in a plastic bag, fashioned after an icing piping bag. I still remember him instructing us how to cut the end of the bag so that the ketchup would come out smoothly and neatly. He would also wake up so early in the morning to make us steak or chicken chop for breakfast!!!

When I left home to attend college, my trip home was always met with a huge steamed fish which my dad knew was my favourite. The only problem was fish that size is normally consumed by at least 8 people, and not just one.

Oh how we vowed we would never turn out to be like our parents. Here I am 4 hours before my trip, I have cooked up sambal fried rice, chicken white wine casserole with mushrooms and roasted half a chicken so that my dear husband has food for the weekend. By the way, coffee shops and Cold Storage are just 5 minutes walk from our home.

Leaving Eddie

I will be driving up to KL this afternoon without my little bub. This is going to be the very first time I will be separated from him for more than 15km and more than 6 hours. Haha.. Singapore is that small and I used to work half days at the office.

I do not think that he will be quite upset because he is used to seeing me leaving in the car every morning. Plus he will be looked after and spoilt by our helper Juvy. Looks like I am the one who will be having separation anxiety.

I love you very very much, my little rascal.

Beautiful Bummy Day

The haze has finally cleared and the sky is blue again! So today I met up with my Sig.Ot at our local swimming pool for lunch. He got there early since I had a prior appointment for massage. The thing about Singapore is that everything is so clean. The public swimming pools may be at least 20 years old, but the condition is excellent.

Depending on the location of the pool and which day of the week, you get different crowd of people. On weekends there are definitely families and children attending lessons. On weekdays, you have students who go to the pool as part of their P.E. But everyday, there are definitely four to five guys; gym going guys, metrosexual looking guys, who are there not to swim but to sunbathe. I often wonder what do they do for a living. Don't they have to work? Anyway when I got there today, there were about 5 of these guys scattered around the pool. They are all physically fit but not my cuppa tea. They wear speedos, proper speedos.

Remember about 3 years ago, very low waist jeans was all the rage. I still recall going to Levis to try on a pair. I was very offended that the biggest size they did was 28 or 29. Anyway, I tried to squeeze myself into a pair. Oh crikey, the jeans wouldn't even go pass my thighs!!! I was amazed at how those girls fit into these jeans. So I started observing girls who wore those type of jeans. They are very very petite. Don't mean to stereotype but you know those Chinese girls with straigtened hair and usually very very slim, they wear them. And the other thing I noticed was girls who wore these jeans and could fit into them, they had no bum!!! Yes it is true. You cannot have bum to wear these jeans or else your butt crack would show.

So back to the swimming pool. These metrosexual men wear extremely extremely tiny speedo. They can carry it off because there isn't an ounce of fat on their bodies. My Sig.Ot commented before how could these guys fit into the tiny swimming trunks. (He carried on with some other jokes which are not suitable for posting) I kid you not. the height of the trunk is about 3 inch tall, which means it JUST reaches the top of the guy's butt crack. It then made me realise that in order to wear these, you cannot have bum!!! Clever isn't it? These pants make you look like you are so super sexy but in actual fact you haven't got any bum. (If you think James Bond's trunk is tight and small, you need to further divide his into 2. That's how small it is!!!!)

Anyway a newcomer arrived and was sauntering from the changing room to the other side of the pool. I could not believe my eyes. His trunks were soooooooooooooo small and soooooooooo fitting that he had not realised that the front of his trunk had slipped down. So in full view, or my view, was the bush of his pubic hair. I am not insinuating that all of you readers are familiar with the male anatomy, but we Chinese are quite hairless people. So when a Chinese guy's pubic hair is in public display, you are very sure that it is his pubic hair! You cannot even think, "Oh that is just part of his body/stomach hair."

I had to stop my Sig.Ot from waving at the guy. He is always capable of doing silly things like that. The last time we were holidaying in Samui, there was a naked man in the villa next to us who did not realised that we have moved in. He was on the phone when he finally noticed us. My husband instead of looking away, raised his hand and waved at the guy. He is very embarrassing like that.

Blank State of Mind

This is probably the most unproductive week of Year 2009. I am in procrastination mode. I have not been going out of the house apart from driving my Sig.Ot to work in the morning. I suspect that the reason why I have been sitting around doing nothing except for watching telly, is watching telly. I read in the papers the other day that teenagers who spend alot of time watching telly will grow up to be depressed adults.

I generally tell people not to take first dates to the movies because that is the most anti-social activity. Similarly watching a telly box is equally passive and anti-social. To be fair, certain programs could be educational but I think after a certain number of hours facing a plasma screen, your body starts going into hibernation mode. You feel lethargic and lazy. Any physical activity requires so much effort; you put on hold toilet trips just so you could go through another episode of drama series. I bet if a study is done on people with UTI, lots of them probably contracted it after watching Korean drama series.

I must snap out of this. Truth is I have been watching Boston Legal day and night. Bad poe. Will snap out of it!

The Imaginary Horrors of Childbirth

This entry is dedicated to Lis.

The final weeks leading to the birth of my son, I had all sorts of thoughts, fearful thoughts, which were keeping me awake at night. It was made worse by the fact that I was off work 2 weeks before my due date. And it is true what they say, an idle mind is a devil’s workshop. With no work to distract me, all I did was conjure all kinds of agonizing thoughts and fear. The agony of waiting for the infamous contraction, whether it was going to come while you are asleep or out having breakfast at the local coffee shop. I have heard so much about it, read so much about it and obviously I was preparing myself for the worst.

I am the sort of person who tends to have a very different perspective of things. For example, fainting is a romantic idea but not if you land oddly and your underpants go on show. Or if I see a motorbike accident with spilled food on the road, it makes me sad because the food never made it home to the table. My friend fell down a flight of stairs and I could not stop laughing because she fell down the flight of stairs on bended knees.

In those final weeks I did wonder how anybody could describe childbirth as beautiful. I was huge, I had a backache, my pelvis bone clicked each time I turned from one side to another . I am not joking, you could hear the clicking and the sensation is so odd. This is caused by a condition called Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction. Also, I had perpetual (meaning it was there 24/7) pins and needles in my right hand (Carpal Tunnel Syndrome) which had been present since the 4th month. As far as I could see or imagine, childbirth would be excruciatingly painful, tiring, messy, unattractive and gross.

I am also very particular about my personal hygiene and where I go to get it done which is the reason I cannot go camping. Wherever I visit, my main priority is the condition of the toilet. This is why as much as I love China, the mere thoughts of the toilets make me retch.

During childbirth did you know that you may accidentally do a poopie? So I did some research and found out that doctors do give you suppositories to clear out your system. However the other problem I had was with the toilet at the doctor’s. So I came up with a brilliant idea of asking the doctor for a suppository in advance! After all, when you first have your contraction, you have a good 8-9 hours (if you are lucky), before the baby pops out. And apparently a suppository works within 15 minutes, in the comfort of my own washroom!!!

After all that, this is what we call a party pooper. I was 1 week late, my water broke, I had no contractions, I was not dilated (maybe just 1cm), and I did not use my suppository. I woke up on a Wednesday morning at about 8.30am when my water broke. So I had my shower, washed my hair and drove myself to the doctor’s. After weighing the pros and cons, the doctor recommended C-Section. By 10.45am, all was well and good. I had my new little bub whom I have grown to love more and more each day.

Crooks by any other name...

Once upon a time, a bunch of businessmen must have sat down and thought to themselves, “Lets find ourselves a new group of suckers.” Hence the invention of St. Valentine’s Day.

Well let us give the opportunists a break. Where there is no demand, there is no supply. It is pretty obvious by now I am not a proponent of this Lurrrve Day. In the past some may have said that because I was single, I was bitter about this special day.

No, the fact is I just simply cannot stomach cuddly toys with tags which reads “I love you,” “Forever Love,” and the tags go on. I cannot get over the fact how you pay 100 bucks for a pathetic thawed bouquet when on normal days, 100 bucks could get you such a gorgeous bunch of fresh flowers.

Restaurants are the worst! How could they compel patrons to order their Valentine’s Day meal set, at a ridiculous price as well. Point is, crooks by any other names ...florists, restaurateur... would still be crooks.

8 Things You May Want to Know about Poe

I have been tagged by khemy and this is a free flow anything goes:-

1) I go by the name Poe because it is non gender specific. I hate people who pre-judge me, especially at work, based on my gender and age.

2) It irks me when people associate my name with Teletubby but it flatters me when people associate my name with Edgar, which I can assure you is very very very rare. Those few men who did, definitely scored a date with me.

3) I travelled 8 hours to go back to my hometown Sitiawan to give birth to Eddie so that when he grows up, he can explain to anyone who sees his birth cert / passport where Sitiawan is.

4) I considered for a very long time whether to call my baby Edward Rhys or Rhys Edward. It was all resolved when my Sig.Ot (Significant Other) said that if baby grows up to be President of a bank, the name Edward would be more befitting. Ataupun Kedai Motor Edward pun bolehlah.

5) I started cooking at the age of 16 (as in proper cooking rice with 4 dishes and soup) for my family and never owned a cookbook. I believe that cooking is both common sense and creativity. Then recently someone bought me a cookbook for my 30th birthday. Of course, never told never knew.

6) I love my late grandma very very much who passed away 5 years ago. Until today I still dream of her. One dream which I remember very clearly is when I asked her where heaven was, and she pointed to the sky and said it was 6km from earth.

7) The most famous person I have encountered is Andre Agassi. He was sitting next to me in a restaurant in London. My friends bribed the waiters just to take home the napkin and the glass (?) he was using.

8) I have a house in Kota Damansara (Villa Damansara) which I would like to rent out. Please contact me if you know of anyone who wouldn't turn it into a brothel.

There Must be a Kennel in Heaven

I am an emotional wreck when it comes to sick or dying animals. This is the only reason why I do not watch movies which feature animals such as Eight Below or Lion King. When we were kids, my aunt made us watch this famous Hindustan film, nevermind we did not understand the language, about an elephant. In the end the elephant died because he protected his human friend from the fatal gun shot. Evidently until today, the movie still has an impact on me.
Growing up in a small town, there were stray dogs and cats. If I were to see an injured dog with a missing leg, I would feel so sad and sometimes cry. Or when my puppy died, I came up with a ritual which I conducted on every Wednesday to make sure that she ended up in heaven. I was only eleven. Anyway you get the idea.
First of all, my heart goes out to the those who lost their loved ones in the horrendous bushfire in Australia. It also made me very sad to learn that millions of animal may have perished too. In the news today, there was an article about the poor creatures which have been saved. One baby wallaby had his nose cooked, whiskers singed and his poor ears fried crispy because he must have stuck his head out of his mummy's pouch. There was a koala, Sam (pic above), whose paws have been burnt, probably from walking on the very burnt ground. Thank goodness there is still much kindness to go around in the midst of such devastation. My heart goes out to those who will have to carry out the most unenviable task to euthanise thepoor animals with extensive injuries.

Put Your Hands Up....

Last Saturday, my friends and I went out for my belated birthday celebration. I have always and probably will always dance to only hip hop and rnb. So for the whole of last week, I was researching for a good rnb club to go to. Unfortunately, house is still all the rave. and that's what they play in most clubs. Then we finally decided on Attica which was apparently a little bit better than Butter Factory in terms of crowd factor.
When we got there, it felt like college days all over again. In fact I felt like I was in a School Union bar. The kids, mostly international college kids, were swarming the place. The odd few late 20 something and early 30 s0mething (like us) stood out like sore thumbs! I have never seen so many cleavages in one place ever. Sadly, most of these barely-out-of-puberty girls think that the way to look older and sophisticated was to wear low cut tops with push-up bras.
Nevertheless it was very entertaining to watch a group of boys with their leader (turn-up collar) who thinks that he's the most suave of them all making a move on a couple of girls sitting by the bar. It is something that you see in grown up bars, something like Beach Club, minus the prostitutes with much much better music. Not that I am a really old seen-it-all aunty, but you could easily spot the don juan wannabes, and the girls who are trying so hard to catch attention of the boys. It is almost comical. I remember this boy who kept undoing his belt and show his bottom to girls. Just in a span of an hour, he has taken off his pants at least 3 times to show 3 different girls. I suspect that he has probably gotten a tattoo although piles could have been equally an attraction, not!
Truth is ,we definitely felt out of place. That club was definitely way too young for us. No, we do not wish to be that age again. Been there, done that. Thank goodness we then found another club with a live band which played Bon Jovi and Blur. We were not that old after all, we got home at 4am.

SPPS- Self Preservation in a Plastic Sense

As I was growing up, I learnt to accept the way I look. I may not be drop dead gorgeous but I am really happy with the way I am. Of course when I was younger, i.e. early teens, I would wish for certain things such as non-frizzy hair, slimmer hips, narrower face etc but as I grew older I came to love the way I look. Honestly, I do. Back then in school, plastic surgery was perceived as something so shocking, and usually related to inflated boobs, like Dolly Parton. N.B. My Sig.Ot has recently told me that they all real.

My perception of plastic surgery started to change when I began to watch Nip Tuck 5 years ago. It got me thinking and I realised that most of us do alter or enhance the way we look. For example, skin preservatives you find in pots such as Creme de la Mer or SK II. Or lightweight thickening plus lengthening mascara, or in recent years, fake eyelashes which is glued on to your eyelids strand by strand which in my personal opinion make some look like they have got caterpillar resting on their eyelids.

Therefore most of us in the name of vanity do, to a certain degree, try to resist what nature does to the way we look. I admit that I may not wish to alter the way I look, but I would want to preserve the way I look. I do not want a new nose but I would like to keep my skin taut for as long as possible. I do not want my cheeks to sag or my jaw area to develop jowls. However, perhaps with time I may grow to accept how they will wrinkle, like how I grew to accept the way I looked in the first place. After all, aging does not happen overnight anyway.

So if my next pregnancy ruin my boobs, I may not rule out plastic surgery to restore them. Read restore, not upsize. My Sig.Ot said that there is no point in plastic surgery then. Haha... that's his humor for you.

The point is, most of us do want to look good by way of enhancing or changing or preserving. It is to what extremes are you willing to go. Be it a jar of Creme de la Mer or Botox injection. Therefore before one professes to be a saint and swear never ever to change the way she looks, do think again.

A Tale of a Tailor

As if the posting of a secondary school photo of me at somebody's blog isn't bad enough, I have also been threatened with a tell-all silly crush I had. I hereby have an announcement to make. I shall beat you all to it, and tell it all myself.

When I was 16, I had a crush on this tailor. All the guys who worked at this shop are the chinese samseng type, which are considered cool, ok maybe for my standard; ponytail, smoking, cool dressing, modified Honda 3-door Bullet, you get the idea. Yes I actually went there to get my shirts tailored just so that I could see him. And the hours and the money I used to spend at the cassette shop opposite the tailor just so I could catch a glimpse of him.

There, I have said it. While I am on the subject, don't you guys dare snigger and stand on moral high ground. As if you have not done something silly while fancying yourself being in love, be it with a real person or some boyband or Ryan Giggs. hehehehe...

The good thing is we can now look back and laugh about it, threaten others with it, make some money out of it if someone becomes a Datin one day, and to have done all those silly mistakes when we did, and move on since then.

Phew... Aren't we all glad that we have outgrown our silly crushes.

30 Rock-s!!

Yup, that's me. I've crossed the much fretted about 3-0. Big deal, yes it is, I suppose. But I did not really fret about it. Why is that so? I think I have mentally prepared myself for it since 3 - 4 years ago. It was also helped by the fact that most of my friends are older than me and each time one crosses to the other side, I have always come up with some original consolations for them, which I have then convinced myself to be true, hahaha.

Well I was quite mean to Eni who turns 30 one day after me, telling her that 30 is not just a number because it is also THIRTY or TIGA PULUH! hehehe... well it is and there is nothing wrong with that. It all boils down to what exactly you have achieved come this age. I am pleased to say that for now, I am very happy to be 30 and to be happily married and to be a mother to my wonderful bub and not to be stuck in a job I hate. For this realisation, I dedicate it to dear Reena who got me thinking years ago when she got married and had bubbles.