Made of Honor with KFC

When you first meet a prospective boyfriend, you would usually run through a checklist in your head. Cute *Check* Funny *Check* Smart *Check* Things in common? Check for now.

Yes, it is important to have things in common so that you could both hold a conversation. In fact that's how a date is nailed in the first place. Something to talk about. Things to do together.

My Significant Other is away in Jakarta for work. So I decided to be adventurous and went to our local dvd rental shop (haha). I picked up Made of Honor, a movie I would have never gotten to watch with Sig.Ot. He hates romantic comedies. FYI, our movies selection last weekend were Death Race (Jason Stratham) and Death Proof (Tarantino).

I then realise that it is a good thing if a couple does not have EVERYTHING in common. There should be things that your partner has no interest in which you could do by yourself or with your friends. For instance, I love watching a romantic comedy while having KFC at the coffee table. Or movie nights with my friends at the cinema. Or drinks with my buddies. This is the reason why it works perfectly well for me that Sig.Ot is anti-social! I would rather have drinks with my friends without him.

But of course there are times that I wish he would take me to social events. When we were dating, he promised that he would take me to 2 social events per year, then we got married. And the wedding registration and wedding reception counted as 2 events in that year. Unfortunately since then, there isn't anymore events to go to.

In the mean time, I am eating my KFC. FYI, KFC in Singapore can't beat Malaysia's KFC.

Gastronomy Porn Galore

Asian Food Channel... yum... it is definitely my most loved channel on cable. One of the reasons is because they hardly/never repeat any shows. Also you will not believe how many cook shows are made these days! In fact I am so inspired that I want to buy a Sonycam with tripod to record me cooking my daily family fare.

However the point of this article is to propose a limit to be put on certain gastronomy exploits on telly. I personally disdain arty farty self proclaimed nouveau young chef. Of course, this is not solely a jealousy motivated attack, but rather, I seriously doubt the quality of the food they put on show. I can recall at this immediate instance 2 chefs I dislike. They are both Jamie Oliver wannabes. One attempted to make Thai green curry which will never fool a Thai food enthusiast like me. The other cooked for a kid's birthday party and the chocolate dessert he made to entertain the kids looked like a pile of horse poo. (Clarification: I have no opinions with regards to Jamie Oliver because I do not watch his shows)

I then realise that a production house could actually hire an actor to pretend to cook since that there is no way telly audience could tell what the food taste like. Most of the time when they open the oven to put something inside, they ALWAYS simultaneously pull out another dish which they claim they have made earlier. Whether they have or not doesn't matter anyway because as I have said earlier, there is no telling whether the food tastes good or not. The food just have to "look" the part.

Again I repeat that I am not jealous simply because they have got a tv show while I do not.

Having aired my grievances, I have to say that there are cook shows that even my hubby loves to watch with me. Our favourite would be Escape / Return to River Cottage. In this show, Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall moves to a village in Dorsett and farms his own food. Every episode, he will be cooking something which he has raised, grown or killed. I like the show's down to earth, gore and no fluffy approach. E.g. When he had to slaughter his poor piggies (which by the way can only be done by EU certified abbatoirs if one intends to sell the piggie produce), he made sausages, smoke ham and cooked all the piggie innards including black pudding. I can assure you there isn't any fancy pancy food presentation.

The other show we like is Scandinavian Cooking. I personally think that the food is a little bit bland but we watch it for the comedy. My hubby thinks that the cameraman is either drunk or high on some illegal substance due to his habit of zooming in and out repeatedly on the cook's hands.

All in all, AFC is a good staple channel to have.

The Bump Divide

Since I have opted to leave my previous employer a.k.a. Oppressor Muka Dua, I enjoy telling people about my new unemployed status (however I am working on a different title). I have noted that the responses I receive vary greatly. The one main difference is the ones with children and those without. Among female friends who are either married or unmarried (by choice) but WITHOUT children, the most common response I received was, "Why did you leave?" / "Aren't you worried you may have burnt bridges with Oppressor Muka Dua?" / "Wouldn't it be difficult to go back to the workforce if you are out of the market for 2 years?" and many more along the same vein.

On the other hand, mothers with children, even the women I rarely know such as the foot reflex shop owner down the road, would respond to me with spontaneous envy on being able to spend more time with my baby. It is so true what our mothers used to say to us when we were rebellious teenage brats, "When you become a mother, you will understand." I suppose maternal instinct is universal and knows no color, social boundary or nationality. Like I have said before, even I am surprised at how happy I am with my decision.

Christmas Holidays

My favorite time of the year is Christmas. Somehow a warm Christmas just doesn't quite seem right. Ideally snow would be great but not quite so in Wales, UK.

My 3 weeks holiday in UK was very good. The flight there was a bit stressful since that my Significant Other flew in a week later. Therefore I was on my own with Eddie on the 13 hours flight plus 3 hours drive from London Heathrow. We got a Volkswagen Passat which is a very good drive. Then again, most cars have got to be better than our current Tuscon.

A very good friend of mine Tabea flew in from Germany to see me for a day in Cardiff, which was really really sweet of her. I also met up with a Malaysian friend of mine who migrated to Cardiff 5 years ago. She took me to a curry house which served seriously spicy curry. I promise that you will never get curry as spicy as this in either Malaysia or Singapore!

Christmas day was spent at my SIL's house in Lechlade. It's a very beautiful quaint village near Oxford. We had turkey (which I dislike) and all the trimmings for Christmas dinner. My husband gave me wonderful pressies such as this spanking new Toshiba laptop and an oven! Of course he did not haul the oven all the way to Lechlade but he presented it to me in the form of a brochure wrapped in bricks laden gift box.

And of course, the very much anticipated Christmas cake that I baked in November. I have been worried that I might have forgotten to lug the cake but thank goodness I did not. Delia's recipe is foolproof - now 2 years running. It's very moist but I wish I have put more brandy into the cake.

Things to do in my leisure time... Part 2

# 2 Charity

When the opportunity to leave my job came up, my Significant Other was extremely supportive. He then encouraged me to be involved in charity works as he has always wanted to do so. One of the things that he has always felt strongly about is child abuse. As for me, having Eddie has definitely enhanced my maternal instinct. These days any stories or images I see of children being neglected or abuse automatically reduce me to tears.
Today, I looked up childrensociety.com for volunteer works which are available. One volunteer work which I thought suited me best was to look after vulnerable witnesses in court. Eventhough the job scope was not detailed, I believe that the volunteer is required to accompany the child to court and speak on the child's behalf. I honestly believe that I am perfect for the job since I am an eloquent multilingual speaker with a law degree.
So I called up the society and told them about my interest in volunteering. The lady then asked me for my details e.g. age, qualifications and nationality. The moment she found out that I was only a PR and not Singaporean, she told me that I was not qualified and said goodbye. So I was quite surprised at her bluntness. Here I was thinking how saintly I was to want to help someone and she just cut me off. At least she could thank me for my interest and offered me some other kind of volunteer work which also suited me. So my first attempt at offering kindness had been shot down. But I will not give up and I shall try for another charity tomorrow. I shall keep you lot updated.

Things to do in my leisure time... Part 1

# 1 Muay Thai

I can no longer use the excuse of "I'm busy at work" to not do things that I have always wanted to do. So today, what is the top of my list? Muay thai. It has been 5 years since I last went to any kick boxing classes. I was quite a fanatic then in my Southern Bank days in D'sara Heights. I used to go Mon-Thur after work for double classes from 6pm to 9pm. When I met my significant other, dating took top priority while kick boxing took a back seat.
So recently, a new martial arts gym called Evolve MMA opened a couple of months ago. I took interest in them because they specialise in martial arts e.g. muay thai, jiu jitsu, wrestling etc. Most importantly, they bring in qualified muay thai instructors from Thailand.
With steely resolve, I turned up at the centre at about 12 noon. There were about 10 other students, all men, with age ranging from 17 - 50. Of course you have the few super fit ones who probably hold lifetime membership in some celebrity gym elsewhere. There are also a couple of middle aged men who looked like they have never worked out their whole lives, with their pots as testimonies.
Then you have me, the lady who just had a baby and quit her job.
As must as I prefer aggresive / outdoors-y type of sports as opposed to slow paced yoga / pilate, I HATE RUNNING. And guess what, the warm up included about 20 minutes of running around the gym AND ROPE SKIPPING!!! I was notorious for turning up 15 minutes late for all my previous kickboxing classes in Hartamas. And when one instructor in Damas suggested that I trained for a championship in Canada, I chickened out when I realised that training included jogging the distance of 5km per day.
FYI, I can't skip rope for nuts. Maybe zero-girl and kangkang which I was quite good at. So as much as I have wanted to prove a point in the class, being the only female and all, I had to stop running after about 4 laps. The rope skipping wasn't any much better either.
However after all that, we finally got into the real thing which I love. I have to say that it is a real honour to be taught by these muay thai masters. And yes, I have signed up for it and lets hope I keep up. Not sure how they would feel if I start turning up 20 minutes late for class. Perhaps if I do it gradually no one would notice! hahaha...

Lady of Leisure

I have finally left my job after nearly 3 years of disillusionment as a result of being a victim of bureaucracy. Well to be fair, my now ex boss was not really a bad guy who was probably a victim of the system himself. To cut the long story short; I made a dramatic exit, opted for a severance package and I have never been happier in my life.

So how did I come to the conclusion that I am happy being unemployed? Apart from the money of course (which is definitely more than what they are going to dish out as bonus this year).

Well, everyone sets for herself an achievement milestone for every decade she has lived for. I suppose being 30 would be one very important one as you transit from your careless yuppy years to a new decade in which you are supposed to build your wealth and a more stable (married) life (with children).

I have always seen myself as a career minded individual so just imagine my surprise at the realisation of how happy I will be to turn 30 and never have to work there ever again! Of course it helps to have a supportive spouse who says something like, "Told you to quit ages ago." And in return he expects me to turn into a domestic goddess which I have learnt isn't an easy job at all! So my salute to all of you full time mothers out there. We all know yummymummy made it look real easy and glamorous though.

FAQ:

Will you work again?

Yes I will when I am ready.

What are you going to do for now?

Spend time with my precious little bub.

By the way came across this funny article attached below. This is NOT an inspiration to throw in the letter especially at times like this but had it been last year, I suppose all of us would have stood a better chance. http://images.google.com.sg/imgres?imgurl=http://positivesharing.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/quit.jpg&imgrefurl=http://positivesharing.com/2008/04/top-10-bad-excuses-for-staying-in-a-bad-job/&usg=__wq7119U15Jl__egxTNB6f78ItmI=&h=301&w=300&sz=40&hl=en&start=1&um=1&tbnid=9cPjLpbmZmnnYM:&tbnh=116&tbnw=116&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dquit%2Bimage%26ndsp%3D18%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26rlz%3D1T4TSEA_en-GBSG308%26sa%3DN:-

If you’re unhappy at work, I’m sure that the thought “Man, I really should quit!” crosses your mind occasionally.
So why don’t you?
Even if you long desperately to quit, to get away from your horrible workplace, annoying co-workers or abusive managers, you may hesitate to actually do anything about it, because right on the heels of that impulse come a lot of other thoughts that hold you back from quitting.
Each of these excuses may sound to you like the voice of sanity, offering perfectly good reasons why it is in fact better to stay and endure that bad job just a little longer, but look a little closer, and they don’t really hold up. What they do instead is keep you trapped in a job that is slowly but surely wearing you down.
Here are 10 of the most common bad excuses for staying in a bad job.

#1 “Things might get better”
That jerk manager might be promoted out of there. That annoying co-worker could quit.That mound of overwork could suddenly disappear.
On the other hand, things might also get worse. Or they might not change at all. If you’ve already done your best to improve your job situations and nothing’s happened, just waiting around for things to improve by themselves make little sense.

#2 “My boss is such a jerk but if I quit now, he wins.”
Who cares. This is not about winning or losing, this is your life. Move on, already.

#3 “I’m not a quitter.”
Well guess what these somewhat successful people have in common: Larry Page, Sergey Brin, Tiger Woords, Reese Witherspoon, John McEnroe and John Steinbeck?
Yep, they all dropped out of Stanford.
The old saying that “Winners never quit and quitters never win” is just plain wrong and leaving a bad job is just common sense.

#4 “I’ll never get another job”
Well not if you stay in your current job while it slowly grinds you down, you won’t! Move on now while you still have some self-confidence, motivation and energy left.

#5 “If I quit I’ll lose my salary, status, company car, the recognition of my peers, etc.”
Yes, quitting a job carries a price and that makes it scary. We all know this intimately.
But few of us ask this question: What is the price of staying in a job that makes you unhappy?
That price can be very high. It can ruin your work life but also your marriage, your family life, your health, your self-esteem and your sanity. Not all at once, but a little bit every day.

#6 “Everywhere else is just as bad”
That’s just nonsense. There are plenty of great workplaces in every industry.

#7 “I’ve invested so much in this job already”
You may have sacrificed a lot of time, energy and dignity already in attempts to make things better. This will make it more difficult for you to call it quits.
I’m reminded of how Nigerian email scammers sucker in people. At first it’s a small investment, but then the amounts grow and grow. At each step the victim is reluctant to stop because that would mean losing all the money he’s spent so far.
Quit anyway. Staying on is just throwing good time after bad.

#8 “I’ll lose my health insurance.”
I have a lot of sympathy for this argument. Where I live (Denmark), everybody gets free health care regardless of their employment situation so I can’t imagine the leverage this must give employers.
One answer: Start looking for another job with similar health benefits.
Also: Ask yourself what good job related health insurance is if your job is actually making you sick - which bad jobs can absolutely do.

#9 “My job pays very well”
I have zero sympathy for this argument. I don’t care how well your job pays; if it makes you unhappy it’s not worth it.
Quite the contrary, if you make a lot of money now, use that financial security to quit and find a job that’ll make you happy.

#10 “Quitting will look bad on my CV”
Whereas staying for years in a job that grinds you down and goes nowhere will look excellent.

The upshot
Many of us would be much happier at work if we quit bad jobs sooner. I’ve talked to many people who have finally managed to quit a bad job and only wished they’d done it sooner. I have yet to meet a single person who quit a crappy job only to wish they’d stayed on longer.
You may have perfectly good reasons to stay in your crappy job - all I’m saying is that it pays to examine those reasons very closely to make sure that they hold up.
‘Cause it may just be the fear talking.