Now I can totally understand exactly how yummymummy and misskechik feel whenever their cavemen go off for their hunts for months at end. My hubby is leaving for Singapore today and I won't be seeing him for at least another 4 weeks. *sob sob*
I suppose time will fly past especially when I have my little grumpy siren to keep me company.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Sunday Visits
Thank you to those who share my misery and frustration. I have barely survived Round 1 visit from well meaning relatives today. Comments received (list is non-exhaustive):-
"You are wearing sleeveless top. The wind will cause rheumatism in your shoulders."
"The air-con is too cold for you and your baby." n.b. air-con is exclusively for feeding sessions
"You are still very fat!"
"You musn't read books. It will strain your eyesight."
"You should wear socks when you walk around the house."
"You must wear pants which cover your knees."
"You must not walk around. Your womb might 'drop'."
"Who says you can have shower 7 days after your deliver? It's 12 days." n.b. It's ok, don't argue. Remember rule #1 from the earlier blog. http://indispensablepoe.blogspot.com/2008/05/well-meaning-aunties-and-101-donts.html
"You are wearing sleeveless top. The wind will cause rheumatism in your shoulders."
"The air-con is too cold for you and your baby." n.b. air-con is exclusively for feeding sessions
"You are still very fat!"
"You musn't read books. It will strain your eyesight."
"You should wear socks when you walk around the house."
"You must wear pants which cover your knees."
"You must not walk around. Your womb might 'drop'."
"Who says you can have shower 7 days after your deliver? It's 12 days." n.b. It's ok, don't argue. Remember rule #1 from the earlier blog. http://indispensablepoe.blogspot.com/2008/05/well-meaning-aunties-and-101-donts.html
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Well Meaning Aunties and the 101 Don'ts
2 male colleagues of mine have recently gone through the post natal confinement ritual with their respective spouses. Each day, they recounted their stressful tales of conflicting advises from both their own parents and in-laws. It is made worse when each parent has his/her own opinion on simple matter such as whether you should feed the baby while watching telly. We are talking about the opinions from at least 7 different people; MIL, FIL, own mother, own father, spouse, yourself and confinement lady.
I consider myself a practical person, and stubborn to a certain degree. When I was first pregnant, I refused to attend pre-natal classes despite my doctor's insistence. So I decided to lie to my doctor about it by getting a cheat sheet (basics about birth) from a friend of mine who was attending the class. Of course my hubby wasn't smart about it by asking doctor basic question such as what's Braxton Hicks (these are the usual tell-tale signs that you haven't been to the class!).
Instead of reading and listening to lots of different advises, I stuck to only one book "What to Expect" and Babycenter.com.
It annoyed me greatly when people judged me based on what I ate and drank. I consumed coffee every morning, occasional sashimi at reputable Jap of course, glass of Christmas champagne and oysters. At the same time, I also eat 3 servings of fruits every morning before lunch time, and a glass of warm milk before bed every night. My point is everything should be in moderation. If you listen to what everyone tells you, there is nothing you can eat!
Yes, I hate to be told what to do especially when one cannot justify or provide any concrete reasonings (I am not even talking about scientific proofs)!
I thought that being at home with a confinement aunty should be less stressful considering that my mom is at work and my dad is cool bout most things. The other plus points are my hubby being Caucasian and my parents in law are in Wales.
Just as my blog title suggests, everyone means well. However there is a breaking point when you have different people telling you different things. The Chinese has got a thing about "wind" being linked to rheumatism. My mom tells me not to use the air-con and use the fan instead. My aunt from next door turned up and told me off for sitting under the ceiling fan. Do you know that average daytime temperature is about 33degrees C!!!
Next thing is about my diet. Traditional Chinese confinement food consists lots of ginger, sesame seed oil and meat. I don't mind the food at all, but the only problem is you are not allowed many varieties of vegetables and fruits. Common vegetables would be kailan and french beans which I like until this aunt said that too much kailan will cause wind too. I was like bleah!!!!!!!!!
Then there is this debate about fruits. My confinement aunty could understand the importance of fruits and we both agreed that I should not be eating oranges as it agitates my throat. As for all other fruits (save for mango and durian), I should be eating at least 2 servings per day. My mom called me this morning and asked me if I have eaten papaya (as someone told her that it causes wind too). Instead of getting into a debate with her, I just said no. It turned out that our house maid has ratted on me, unintentionally of course.
Each time when I try to reason with my mother, she asked me if I have heard about this family doctor friend who is apparently suffering from some severe joint pain. My mother attributed it to her not abiding to the Chinese post-natal confinement rules. Of course it has nothing to do with any other reasons.
I am not being a total rebel, there are other things that I am abiding by. For instance, I am not drinking plain water. Surprise surprise, there is wind in water too. Also it did not bother me as much as I thought it would be as I like the special tea the confinement aunty brews for me everyday.
Secondly, I am not showering. Wait wait, I am sponging 3 times a day! The only reason why I haven't broken this #1 golden rule is because of my c-section incision. But I have discovered a sponging method which leaves me feeling as good as a bath! As for hairwashing, that goes without saying. Even if I have stitches in my head, I would still immerse my head in water!
So what do I do?
I consider myself a practical person, and stubborn to a certain degree. When I was first pregnant, I refused to attend pre-natal classes despite my doctor's insistence. So I decided to lie to my doctor about it by getting a cheat sheet (basics about birth) from a friend of mine who was attending the class. Of course my hubby wasn't smart about it by asking doctor basic question such as what's Braxton Hicks (these are the usual tell-tale signs that you haven't been to the class!).
Instead of reading and listening to lots of different advises, I stuck to only one book "What to Expect" and Babycenter.com.
It annoyed me greatly when people judged me based on what I ate and drank. I consumed coffee every morning, occasional sashimi at reputable Jap of course, glass of Christmas champagne and oysters. At the same time, I also eat 3 servings of fruits every morning before lunch time, and a glass of warm milk before bed every night. My point is everything should be in moderation. If you listen to what everyone tells you, there is nothing you can eat!
Yes, I hate to be told what to do especially when one cannot justify or provide any concrete reasonings (I am not even talking about scientific proofs)!
I thought that being at home with a confinement aunty should be less stressful considering that my mom is at work and my dad is cool bout most things. The other plus points are my hubby being Caucasian and my parents in law are in Wales.
Just as my blog title suggests, everyone means well. However there is a breaking point when you have different people telling you different things. The Chinese has got a thing about "wind" being linked to rheumatism. My mom tells me not to use the air-con and use the fan instead. My aunt from next door turned up and told me off for sitting under the ceiling fan. Do you know that average daytime temperature is about 33degrees C!!!
Next thing is about my diet. Traditional Chinese confinement food consists lots of ginger, sesame seed oil and meat. I don't mind the food at all, but the only problem is you are not allowed many varieties of vegetables and fruits. Common vegetables would be kailan and french beans which I like until this aunt said that too much kailan will cause wind too. I was like bleah!!!!!!!!!
Then there is this debate about fruits. My confinement aunty could understand the importance of fruits and we both agreed that I should not be eating oranges as it agitates my throat. As for all other fruits (save for mango and durian), I should be eating at least 2 servings per day. My mom called me this morning and asked me if I have eaten papaya (as someone told her that it causes wind too). Instead of getting into a debate with her, I just said no. It turned out that our house maid has ratted on me, unintentionally of course.
Each time when I try to reason with my mother, she asked me if I have heard about this family doctor friend who is apparently suffering from some severe joint pain. My mother attributed it to her not abiding to the Chinese post-natal confinement rules. Of course it has nothing to do with any other reasons.
I am not being a total rebel, there are other things that I am abiding by. For instance, I am not drinking plain water. Surprise surprise, there is wind in water too. Also it did not bother me as much as I thought it would be as I like the special tea the confinement aunty brews for me everyday.
Secondly, I am not showering. Wait wait, I am sponging 3 times a day! The only reason why I haven't broken this #1 golden rule is because of my c-section incision. But I have discovered a sponging method which leaves me feeling as good as a bath! As for hairwashing, that goes without saying. Even if I have stitches in my head, I would still immerse my head in water!
So what do I do?
- Rule #1 Do not get into debates about things you could get away with.
- Rule #2 Do things that you can tolerate with e.g. not drinking plain water which I never thought was possible.
- Rule #3 Remind yourself that everyone means well and have the best of intentions, eventhough at the back of your mind you constantly wonder if they are trying to make you suffer the same way they were made to.
The truth and nothing but the truth about breastfeeding
Whatever horror stories you have read about breastfeeding are true!
It is a nipple-wrecking experience
Inexperience coupled with a hungry impatient baby does your nipple indescribable agony. Ouch!
Leakage
Yes they do... on your clothes, bed sheet, baby clothes etc
It is a nipple-wrecking experience
Inexperience coupled with a hungry impatient baby does your nipple indescribable agony. Ouch!
Leakage
Yes they do... on your clothes, bed sheet, baby clothes etc
Thursday, May 15, 2008
14th May 2008- Baby Eddie is Here!!!
After much waiting, my water broke on the morning of May 14th, which is also the birthday of a good friend of mine.8.50am - I called the nurse to check how long I could hang around my parents' house before making my way to the clinic. I was told to report in asap. So I took my shower, washed my hair and drove myself to my doctor's. Called my mom to update her while I was driving.
9.30am - After some internal examination, it seemed that my best option was to have a c-section.
9.45am - Called my hubby to tell him that I was going to have the baby
10.00am- My mom sent a whole troop of my relatives to come see me to make sure that I was ok.
10.30am - Wheeled into O.T. and anesthetist injected epidural. Thank goodness it didn't hurt!
10.40am - Proceeded to cut me open.
10.50am - Baby Eddie made an appearance and he commemorated the occassion by having his first pee!
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY MY DEAR HUBBY!
Today is our first year wedding anniversary. Unfortunately, I am alone here in my kampung still waiting for my baby while my hubby is flying to Beijing for work this afternoon. He has been very sweet, wanting to cancel his trip so that he could be here with me. But I have already assured him that I can cut the umbilical cord by myself. :)Did you know that the traditional first wedding anniversary gift is paper? I suppose it does make sense. If you are given diamond / jewelry in the first year, what do you expect by your 50th wedding anniversary? A diamond mine in South Africa?
List of Traditional Wedding Gifts:-
1st Paper
2nd Cotton
3rd Leather
4th Fruit, flowers
5th Wood
6th Sugar
7th Copper, wool
8th Bronze, pottery
9th Pottery, willow
10th Tin
11th Steel
12th Silk, linen
13th Lace
14th Ivory
15th Crystal
20th China
25th Silver
30th Pearl
35th Coral
40th Ruby
45th Sapphire
50th Gold
55th Emerald
60th Diamond
2nd Cotton
3rd Leather
4th Fruit, flowers
5th Wood
6th Sugar
7th Copper, wool
8th Bronze, pottery
9th Pottery, willow
10th Tin
11th Steel
12th Silk, linen
13th Lace
14th Ivory
15th Crystal
20th China
25th Silver
30th Pearl
35th Coral
40th Ruby
45th Sapphire
50th Gold
55th Emerald
60th Diamond
Monday, May 12, 2008
Wikipedia - Childbirth
hahaha... and I thought I was quite well read about childbirth until I came across this on wiki.
Orgasm during childbirth
Some women experience orgasm during childbirth.[4][5] There are similarities between the process of orgasm and childbirth; both involve involuntary contractions of some of the same muscles. Orgasm releases endorphins which can mediate the pain of labour, as well as the hormone oxytocin, which is known to play an important role in labour as well as mother-child attachment. Some people have speculated that sexual repression, in particular, the repression of women's sexuality, may be holding more women back both from having an orgasmic experience with childbirth, and from accepting and sharing the experience when they do have it.[6]
Orgasm during childbirth
Some women experience orgasm during childbirth.[4][5] There are similarities between the process of orgasm and childbirth; both involve involuntary contractions of some of the same muscles. Orgasm releases endorphins which can mediate the pain of labour, as well as the hormone oxytocin, which is known to play an important role in labour as well as mother-child attachment. Some people have speculated that sexual repression, in particular, the repression of women's sexuality, may be holding more women back both from having an orgasmic experience with childbirth, and from accepting and sharing the experience when they do have it.[6]
My Visit to Doctor Yeak
I have gone for my checkup (again) this morning. All is well, I have finally dilated a little bit but baby's head hasn't quite lodged in my birth canal. After more checks i.e. heartbeats and all, doctor has given me the green light to wait it out. I am very glad because I do not want to be induced, and neither do I want to be cut open. But the maximum number of days he will let me wait is 10 days past the due date which is this Saturday! The countdown begins...
Happy Birthday Dave!
Our dear family doggy is 2 years old today. Although he is not really handsome or cute, but he is very endearing.
Biodata
Name : Dave Dunmore Kirby
DOB : 12th May 2006
Breed : Boxer
The most surprising thing about Dave:
Most people presume from his looks that he's fierce, but he is the most cowardly dog I have ever had. Think Scooby Doo.
What Dave likes:
Run in the park.
What I dislike about Dave:
Suck up to my hubby and completely ignore me whenever I ask him (not) to do something.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
My Rendezvous in Paris (Jan 08)
This was possibly a scandalous trip, gallavanting in Paris while being 5 months pregnant . I am glad that I did it! It is definitely easier to travel with baby in your womb rather than in a pram. Since that we were there for only 3 days, David's friend has written a special guide specially tailor made for us. It has got recommendation of good restaurants and museums which are not your typical tourist guide standards.
Highlights of the trip:-
Highlights of the trip:-
- Hours and hours of walk around Paris
- Re-visit Shakespeare and Co, this little bookstore that I have chanced upon 8 years ago in
Latin Quarter! I didn't know that it has been made famous by the movie starring Ethan Hawke called Before Sunset. My mate David is mad bout the film! 
Food, lots and lots of French fare. Ate foie gras at every other meal. Found an excellent French restaurant which serves good duck breast and gigantic creme brulee. Yummy!- Went up Montmartre on foot, after all it's 130m high and quite
a challenge for a preggie woman. And nothing has changed, still as touristy as ever.
Morning wet market which sells many types of cheeses, crepe, seafood, bread, hams etc.
I Dream of Samui....
Summer time will be here soon, and I cannot help but to dream of our usual summer vacation in Thailand. These photos have been taken since 2 years ago, but have never left my camera until now.
My dad asked me recently how do I spend a whole 2 weeks on a beach. I am sure most of you would agree with me that it's anything but difficult!
Waking up to the sound of waves, have breakfast, read on the beach, sunbathe, nap, drive out for yummy roadside noodle soup, go back to the beach, read, foot massage, nap, get ready go out for drinks / dinner. Next day, repeat all the above.
Desperate Mother (to be)
2 weeks ago, I thought that I was suffering from pre-natal blues. Symptoms consist mainly various types of worries:-
...not being a good mother
...not ready to be a mother
...if it changes my loving relationship with my darling hubby
and the list goes on.
That's what an idle mind does to you. Ideally, I would have continued working until I pop but unfortunately no airline would fly me so close to my due date.
Now that I have been nesting for 2 weeks, restlessness has finally set in. Even my good rakan sekampung, the bridezilla, is still thinking of new ideas for me to pass time but looks like she's still thinking (since yesterday!).
I never thought that I would reach this stage, but yes, I am desperate. I am desperate to have my baby. I am desperate to start my 1 month confinement so that the sooner it will end. It is more despairing to know that my neighbor who is supposed to be due 2 weeks after me has already popped last night!
One of the theories on why my baby hasn't made an appearance is because I am not well. Apparently when your body goes into labor, all your body energy will be channeled towards laboring (haha.. how apt). But now that I am ill, my body is busy fighting the virus so perhaps that's why the labor has been put on hold.
I have been coughing like mad. Last night, it woke me up at 1am, 4am and 7am. Just when you think that it is not possible, the cough has caused whatever remaining muscles on the sides of my belly aching. All I could do was slab on generous amount of minyak cap kapak as Vicks' not working. So my dear friends, if you have any ideas / suggestions on home remedy to get rid of my cough / phlegm / cold, please drop me a line!
...not being a good mother
...not ready to be a mother
...if it changes my loving relationship with my darling hubby
and the list goes on.
That's what an idle mind does to you. Ideally, I would have continued working until I pop but unfortunately no airline would fly me so close to my due date.
Now that I have been nesting for 2 weeks, restlessness has finally set in. Even my good rakan sekampung, the bridezilla, is still thinking of new ideas for me to pass time but looks like she's still thinking (since yesterday!).
I never thought that I would reach this stage, but yes, I am desperate. I am desperate to have my baby. I am desperate to start my 1 month confinement so that the sooner it will end. It is more despairing to know that my neighbor who is supposed to be due 2 weeks after me has already popped last night!
One of the theories on why my baby hasn't made an appearance is because I am not well. Apparently when your body goes into labor, all your body energy will be channeled towards laboring (haha.. how apt). But now that I am ill, my body is busy fighting the virus so perhaps that's why the labor has been put on hold.
I have been coughing like mad. Last night, it woke me up at 1am, 4am and 7am. Just when you think that it is not possible, the cough has caused whatever remaining muscles on the sides of my belly aching. All I could do was slab on generous amount of minyak cap kapak as Vicks' not working. So my dear friends, if you have any ideas / suggestions on home remedy to get rid of my cough / phlegm / cold, please drop me a line!
Friday, May 9, 2008
How Do I Pass My Days? Let Me Count the Ways....
1. Wait for the arrival of my baby
Looking for signs e.g. contractions, water bag break, bloody show etc.
2. Cook for my family
Today I'm cooking watercress soup, 'mui choi' with stewed meat, french beans with tofu, and szechuan salted vege with meat
3. Watch Taiwanese Hokkien gangster drama series
Every single male character wears suits, including the parang wielding gangster
4. Finding natural remedies for my sore throat, cough, phlegm and cold
I have tried warm milk with turmeric powder (gasp!) and honey. Surprisingly it wasn't as bad. After all, turmeric is from same family as ginger. In my slow cooker, I've got 2 oranges stewed whole with honey and rock sugar.
5. Read (stocks will soon be depleted)
Currently reading some sleazy Victorian romance. Thought of buying books in a newly open book store but turned out that bookstore is already closed (after just 2 months!)
Looking for signs e.g. contractions, water bag break, bloody show etc.
2. Cook for my family
Today I'm cooking watercress soup, 'mui choi' with stewed meat, french beans with tofu, and szechuan salted vege with meat
3. Watch Taiwanese Hokkien gangster drama series
Every single male character wears suits, including the parang wielding gangster
4. Finding natural remedies for my sore throat, cough, phlegm and cold
I have tried warm milk with turmeric powder (gasp!) and honey. Surprisingly it wasn't as bad. After all, turmeric is from same family as ginger. In my slow cooker, I've got 2 oranges stewed whole with honey and rock sugar.
5. Read (stocks will soon be depleted)
Currently reading some sleazy Victorian romance. Thought of buying books in a newly open book store but turned out that bookstore is already closed (after just 2 months!)
Overdue and Still Waiting
I've promised myself to enter the realm of blogging when I begin my 5 months sabbatical. I may be 2 weeks late but nevertheless. here we are!
For the envious ones, let me set this straight:-
3 months - Maternity Leave
1 month - Annual Leave
1 month - Unpaid Leave
Question, where's the baby? He's late. In fact he's 2 days overdue. I have been taking in bets on his new arrival dates with bets ranging from hard cold cash to bottles of whisky. I've won at least 3 bets so far! I love my baby.
Doctor told me to wait for another 3 days when a decision will have to be made to coax him out. Question is how? Depending on the condition of my womb, I may be induced or I may be cut up. Don't have preference really, but would still like him to arrive at his own will.
However, if i have to be induced or cut up, I get to choose the date. And this is the interesting part when you have various parties lobbying for different dates.
Me:
The first date which came to my mind is May 13th! This would be our 1st wedding anniversary. Most would see the inauspiciousness of the date but heck, we're not superstitious.
Shen:
She's so for 14th May, which is purely personal interest as it is her birthday!
My mom:
She would've picked 1st May (my mom has got a thing for public holidays) but since it's over, she thought that this Saturday i.e. tomorrow would be good. Reason being all the relatives could come visit me on Sunday. This is quite the norm when all your family members and relatives run their own businesses. FYI, ALL my relatives get married only on Sundays, not even Saturdays as businesses operate Monday to Saturday.
My brother:
Anytime before 14th May, so that he won't miss the baby's full moon party. A good friend of his is getting hitched on the 14th June you see.
And of course there are advocates of the nature's way. My MIL told me that she was late with both her kids, and my aunt was 2 weeks late with her firstborn.
I suppose he will come when he's ready and thank goodness with such advance medical age, you can always monitor the baby's wellbeing in the womb. As long as he's still thriving, I wouldn't worry too much.
For the envious ones, let me set this straight:-
3 months - Maternity Leave
1 month - Annual Leave
1 month - Unpaid Leave
Question, where's the baby? He's late. In fact he's 2 days overdue. I have been taking in bets on his new arrival dates with bets ranging from hard cold cash to bottles of whisky. I've won at least 3 bets so far! I love my baby.
Doctor told me to wait for another 3 days when a decision will have to be made to coax him out. Question is how? Depending on the condition of my womb, I may be induced or I may be cut up. Don't have preference really, but would still like him to arrive at his own will.
However, if i have to be induced or cut up, I get to choose the date. And this is the interesting part when you have various parties lobbying for different dates.
Me:
The first date which came to my mind is May 13th! This would be our 1st wedding anniversary. Most would see the inauspiciousness of the date but heck, we're not superstitious.
Shen:
She's so for 14th May, which is purely personal interest as it is her birthday!
My mom:
She would've picked 1st May (my mom has got a thing for public holidays) but since it's over, she thought that this Saturday i.e. tomorrow would be good. Reason being all the relatives could come visit me on Sunday. This is quite the norm when all your family members and relatives run their own businesses. FYI, ALL my relatives get married only on Sundays, not even Saturdays as businesses operate Monday to Saturday.
My brother:
Anytime before 14th May, so that he won't miss the baby's full moon party. A good friend of his is getting hitched on the 14th June you see.
And of course there are advocates of the nature's way. My MIL told me that she was late with both her kids, and my aunt was 2 weeks late with her firstborn.
I suppose he will come when he's ready and thank goodness with such advance medical age, you can always monitor the baby's wellbeing in the womb. As long as he's still thriving, I wouldn't worry too much.
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